Sunday Post April 2003

So what kind of send-off do you want? Carl Marlow form Tyneside, runs GO AS YOU PLEASE, offering funerals to suit every taste.

You can have everything from firework displays to ash scattering cruises up the Tyne or choose to scatter your love ones ashes at any location, you name it they investigate the feasibility of fulfilling your wishes. Would you choose to go with a bang or a whimper?

On balance I think I'd prefer the fireworks. "Why should we all have the same sort of funeral?" Why indeed, Carl? I'm with you all the way. I'm not morbid but I have given some thought to planning my own departure.

The church service will include rousing, old-fashioned hymns because I love those, and I want an open-air party afterwards. All my friends and family will be there, hopefully wearing bright clothes and telling stories about the many daft things I've done.

Champagne and chocolate cake will be served. Also, there will be lashings of ginger beer for the children and sherbet lemon sweets for them to take home.

I'll be buried under a tree with a big bunch of sunflowers on my coffin and everyone will be given a handful of wildflower seeds-poppies and daisies to scatter around. Then those who know me best will get together at my home and listen to my favourite CD - Elvis's Golden Hits -

Going out in a blaze of glory isn't for everyone. But letting your family know how you'd like to say goodbye makes sense. After all - it's your funeral.